Entry 5 - Violate Expectations

Not what you expected, right? But it brings a good laugh. Bonus points to Flo the Progressive Girl!

The Expectancy Violations Theory says that "psychological arousal occurs when people's expectations for communication are violated, thus giving the communicator a greater impact." This is what makes comedians and commercials stand out. 

But maybe comedians are too predictable? You watch their shows with the intent of laughing your face off. Someone quiet doing something outgoing is more of an expectancy violation, isn't it? However, despite their quirky reputations, comedians still find ways to startle us, and that's what keeps us laughing.

As our class presents to each other the different communication theories from our textbook, we try to employ this theory to some extent to leave a stronger impact. Lindsay brought in tape measures for us to discover comfortable conversation distances and Dylan broke the fill-in-the-blank mold by printing us PowerPoint notes. Each of us inputted creativity to capture our audience's attention and make our presentations memorable. As Com Majors, this is a valuable tool for all of our speeches.

Entry 4 - Lilias Are Like Onions

The Social Penetration theory has been metaphorically referred to as an onion -– also used to describe everyone’s favorite green ogre, Shrek. It states that as relationships develop communication moves from shallow levels to deeper ones. 

I see this at work in all my relationships. I have a majority of outer layer relationships: people in my classes that I recognize but are below friendship status. I see them on campus and say hi, or we talk about homework, but our conversations do not go beyond the common courtesies you give grocery baggers.

I do have a few middle-level relationships: people I sit with and chat with before class and theater mates that weren'’t best friends, but still friends. Often these medium friendships die off with separation caused by a new semester and busy schedules. Many of these revive in the moments we have time to catch up, but they are stagnant, frozen in time until next contact, dying away slowly until a simple “Hi,” not even acknowledging the past relationship, is all that’ is communicated. I feel bad for those situations and am trying to become more intentional to keep the friendships alive for the brief moments they have.

My core friendships are with my fiancé, immediate family, relatives, and friends I would rank as besties. These people have found their way through my comfortably closed layers to get to know the real me, and vice-versa. Normally we share many things in common, including the bond of time. Time can be a relationship maker, or breaker. The bond my sister and our best friend Michelle have shared growing up together each summer since we were toddlers is one that I hope will remain timeless as we intentionally attempt to keep in touch, despite of life’s busyness.

Entry 3 - Coordinating My Management of Meaning

"Dream" by Chibionpu

Coordinated Management of Meaning says that "Persons in conversation co-construct their own social realities and are simultaneously shaped by the worlds they create."

The way I see the world has been influenced by conversations - conversations with family, friends, animals, books, movies, music, myself, and God. My view of reality is often skewed and is different with each relationship. 

With my father, I am left thinking that all men are proud and stubborn. It is a perception that has been hard to live with properly; I've taken on the unhealthy habits of complaining and disrespect. This social reality has seeped into my relationship with my fiance, even though he is very different from my father. 

With my sister and with our best friend, I see the world as a carefree place - full of beautiful sunny days with chilly mornings to soak in, lush vegetation to lose dolls in, and shopping malls to buy-out. It's a much more positive outlook, yet it can leave me with unrealistic expectations when the realities of school and budgets and hot, hot Arizona whack me in the face.

In Tangled, Rapunzel and Flynn create are at the beginning of their social reality, where "it's warm and real and bright." In the picture above, an artist portrays Rapunzel seeing the world as a marvelous place, despite the negative descriptions she received from Mother Gothel. Her conversation with nature and the lanterns gives her a hopeful outlook on a world she longs to be part of.

Our social realities are real to us and important to examine. There is nothing wrong with dreaming for a brighter world, but we should brace ourselves for impact so we can have endurance during life's darker times. Thankfully, truth and hope about reality are found in God.

Entry 2 - Symbolic Interactionism in My Life

"Meaning is rooted in language. Words spoken to us by others often define how we feel about ourselves." Symbolic Interactionism

Learning about symbolic interaction reminded me of how crucial it is to watch what I say. It illustrates Proverbs 18:2, "The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit." I stopped to think of how people have formed my self-opinion, and I saw how much I have influenced others. My sister who laughs at my jokes makes me feel clever, and grumpy cashiers leave me feeling like I am inadvertently rude. 

I'll use my fiance as an example. The picture above is one he edited and posted on an art site, describing how he felt his true self. Underneath he feels like the hero Link, and outwardly he acts like him. Link is the main character in the video game series the Legend of Zelda. He is brave and smart, but he never talks. 

People have influence both my fiance's inner and outer-selves. Friends online who sought his advice made him feel important and successful, while class mates who passed him by made him feel useless and broken. I can relate. On a deeper level, close relationships, including my relationship with him, have given him both positive and negative input. I love my fiance's creativity and openness in that picture, and this theory reminded me that I want to work on reinforcing his hero side and avoid furthering his "zero" side.